Everybody has that well-meaning friend who so quickly and frequently offers advice. The kind of advice you could well do without.

You’ve discovered that your husband has been having an affair, or is addicted to sex or pornography? Well, she knows the reasons. She’s an expert of course. And, of course, she’s an expert on what to do next.

But has shebeen there for you when you couldn’t think or speak? When your world came crashing down, and you couldn’t eat or sleep? Could you sense that she was reeling from the shock and horror, too? Did she tap into your sorrow? Did she care about your pain?

If not, you should avoid her.

She’s not really what you need.

She’s not really there for you.

Her compassion’s just skin deep.

And then there is the friend who is clearly lost for words. You know that she’s shocked too…