Often, sitting there in silence, and just listening with compassion, will be the greatest gifts that you can offer at this time.

But if you do choose to speak, then please be careful with your words. Don’t blurt out empty platitudes or trite, hurtful advice.

Specific statements to avoid include the following:

1. “It will get better. Just give it time.” You don’t know their situation, and you don’t know what the future holds for them.

2. “At least he didn’t (fill in the blank)”. Betrayal is betrayal. Searing pain is searing pain. There isn’t a hierarchy. Don’t attempt to minimize.

3. “You should definitely leave him.” Maybe that’s what you would do – but this isn’t about you. And you have no idea what is right for someone else.

4. “I think it’s pretty common. I’d say most men look at porn