Things you shouldn’t say to a trauma survivor include:

1. It’s in the past; that was then and this now – Trauma survivors are well aware that the traumatic experience is in the past. They don’t need you to tell them that. The problem is: they’re still living with the fallout. A traumatized person is being triggered constantly.

2. Perhaps it would help if you talked about it – Going over the events, and the impact they have had, can be re-traumatizing for the trauma survivor… and especially if the listener doesn’t really understand.

They do need to talk … but it must be the right person. It isn’t safe for them to open up to “anyone”.

3. Time is a great healer; you just need to give it time – The passage of time is not a healer in itself. The trauma must be processed, and the feelings must…