This is one of the most difficult questions – for if he did it before, then he could do it again. Which is why you’re afraid – as there are no guarantees.

So how can you assess if the change is genuine – and he really is committed to being different now?

1. Let’s start by stating the obvious. There has to be a sense of genuine remorse, and a genuine desire to put things right. What is your gut really telling you here? It is often hard to know, or to trust yourself.

Do you think he’s genuine? What makes you think he’s truly changed? Be concrete and specific. Try to list the different things.

2. Your partner should communicate he owes you a huge debt. In fact, he owes you a huge debt that can never be repaid. And the focus of his life (at least, at…