Pattie experienced betrayal trauma when she learned that her husband of 35 years had actually been unfaithful for most of their marriage. Below, she shares about the role kindness played in helping her to slowly start to heal.

“What has helped me over time is noticing the small kindnesses of others, and trying to absorb some of that kindness and love.

When you experience betrayal trauma, it causes you totally shut down inside. You don’t trust anyone. You can’t feel at all. It’s like nothing can penetrate the wall around your heart. You can’t open up and let anybody in. You also don’t want to let anybody in.

But as time passed, that began to change. I started to notice some small kindnesses. It might be something as insignificant as a friendly sales assistant who took time to be extra nice to me. Or the barista at Starbucks who always…