I say that so often. I say it when there’s an incident at my kid’s the school.. that only became “a big deal” because I found out. 😣

I say it on nights, like tonight. The tears return, as if the nightmare just happened.

I say it during times when, I swear, I am being the crazy mom who’s going to have kids resent her when they grow up.

I say it when my neighbor gets cross with me about trash cans, or some crazy driver nearly hits me during rush hour.

I say it when it’s Friday night; and, I’m home alone. When the anxiety blankets the atmosphere with the oncoming of dark.

There’s so many times when I need my mom. She lost so much. She took her own life.

I lost that respectable and independent, positive and compassionate female figure.

My emotions get too big; and, I…