I’m sitting in front of repeats of Inside No.9 (My favourite program of all time) and I am in a thoughtful mood. My mood has been up and down more than usual the last couple of weeks, and trust me when I say, BPD mood swings are always frantic anyway so any acceleration is particularly unpleasant. Anyway, I thought I would share what I was thinking on this Sunday evening.

I have been wondering about loneliness a lot. Trying to figure out if that is what I’ve been feeling. Turns out it isn’t. It’s not loneliness, it’s fear. Not fearful of being on my own, I like my own company, it’s been liberating since starting over to really get to know myself as someone who, has before last year never lived alone. I got to know whether I would still be a tidy person if I lived alone (I am)…