Today I have spent the whole afternoon and evening wrapped under a blanket, on my sofa with some reading, TV and music… And it has felt incredible. Perhaps, it has felt even more incredible because not so long ago, when I was still deep in the eating disorder that I experienced for over a decade, I would never allow myself to rest like this. Even if ill or injured, my brain would create such intense feelings of wrong doing, guilt and fear at the thought of resting, that I felt powerless to listen to my poor body screaming at me to stop and hibernate.
Instead, each day I would push myself to keep going until late at night when I would eventually crawl into bed, weary of all that my life had become.
Those years were miserable and oh so very unnecessary. I did not have to live like that…
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