Christmas manic depression

I’m never sure if this is just people or people with BPD OR that people with BPD experience it slightly differently, but this whole seasonal depression malarkey is exhausting.

One moment I am literally using every mental tool in my toolbox to get me out from under the quilt to function, and I literally mean function. Put one foot in front of the other and get from bed to bathroom. Then out of nowhere I will have a flood of emotion, might be guilt, might be grief, might be joy occasionally even love, and it will consume me. The intensity of it will be such that I cannot separate myself from it when left to myself, let me clarify. For instance, say in the shower, I might be overcome with anger over nothing. Or walking up the stairs I might feel lighter and happier by the time I reach the…