The time … seeing my old friend really hit me hard.

I am not sure why seeing this old friend hit me so hard. I had honestly removed him from my head when he got married. I knew he wanted me but once he realized I wasn’t interested he moved on pretty fast. That was at least 16 years ago or so.

After seeing him at the party I have been all scrambled up, if that is even a word. I haven’t been able to sleep properly (literally 4 hours/ night), I have been Googling him to find out more about how he is doing (mistake, as he is doing better than I am doing, at least on paper).

I can’t figure out why this is affecting me so negatively, maybe because it was not expected? Maybe because I didn’t expect him to become so successful (I know, not nice), maybe because I had bottled up unexpressed feelings and they all…